Please Leave a Message

Hello…You’ve reached the voice mail of Sooz. I am currently skiing in Aspen right now, so please leave a message. My menu items have changed so listen carefully and choose accordingly. Press 1, if you are lonely and want to speak to me about any...

Comedians You Should Know- Kristen Wiig

There’s not much to say, her comedy speaks for itself. She had the funniest movie in 2011: Bridesmaids, which she wrote and starred in, and continues to delight on Saturday Night Live.   Kristen Wiig is actually very shy, but...

Downtime At the North Pole

We ALL know the story of Santa Clause, the Elves and of course the Reindeer readying themselves for the Holidays, BUT…I’m here to tell you the tales of the Downtime activities at the North Pole. A common misconception about Santa’s weight is...

Relationships “R” Us!!!

Wouldn’t it be great if you could just walk into a store like Relationships “R” Us and just order one wonderful long and beautiful relationship? Wouldn’t that just be Hunky Dory? Well You CAN… Now at my NEW store, Relationships “R” Us!!! That’s...

The Cure For PMS, Yeah…Right

I just read a post by Janelle at Thoughts.com which talked about her not wanting to be around any of us Humanoid characters. After much research and qualitative study regarding the matter, she determined that it WASN’T depression but PMS. OK...

Gift Wrapping Tips For Men

This is the Christmas Season, a time for joy, family and merriment. It’s also a time for shopping, cooking, trimming the tree, stringing lights, becoming EXHAUSTED, and let’s not forget the most TRYING thing of all…WRAPPING a Buzillion Xmas gifts. ...

The service

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year-old had been...

Joke

  A fireman storms into a packed conference room wielding one of those large fire axes. "Everyone, This is not a drill!"

lonely widow

A rich lonely widow decided that she needed another man in her life so she placed an ad, which read something like this: RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND FORTUNE ...NEEDS TO HAVE THESE QUALIFICATIONS: 1) WON'T BEAT ME UP 2) WON'T...

My Open Letter to Santa

Dear Santa: I’m writing you this letter today in the hopes of getting some early Xmas. gifts. I apologize in advance if my spelling is a little unclear, I’ve been into the Vodka and Cranberry this morning as I’m off work for another week and it...

The 12 Days of Christmas…SERIOUSLY???

OK…First up, the 12 days…WTF??? I don’t think that Christmas EVER had 12 days with gifts, Hanukkah…8 days maybe, but 12, Kwanza…Don’t know if they even GOT gifts. So…Have you ever really LISTENED to this song, the gifts are ridiculous, well,...

Top Ten Text Messages

10.   The stick was positive AND the rabbit died. I guess the “rabbit” bit off more of the “stick” than she could chew.  9.    Let me put it THIS way Bill…The burned out light in my ICEBOX…It only pertains to YOU…  8.    What do you MEAN...

O.o profile picture...somewhat not PG-13

Ok so I picked the picture for my avatar because I thought it looked like a camel rock formation but now that its actually up and out there for everyone to see....it doesn't quite look like a camel...O.O  what is funny is on my page I used it as my...