Did You Know that Hitler Was a Playwright?

These were considered his ten best plays: 1. A Streetcar Named Barbed Wire 2. The Pink Panzer 3. A Fine Land, the Rhineland 4. Springtime With Hitler in Germany 5. What's Not to Like About the Third Reich? 6. I Was So Sad in Stalingrad 7. The Shells of...

blond jokes

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor. Q: Why do men like blonde jokes? A: Because they can understand them. Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with...

Sorry For Yourself? This'll Help!

Things Got Ya Down? Well then, consider these..... In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it...

Water works

A Department of Water Resources representative (Philemon) stops at a Free State farm and talks with old farmer Koos. He tells Koos, "I need to inspect your farm for the water allocation". Koos says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there"....

Credit Crunch

CREDIT CRUNCH... It is the month of August, on the shores of the Black Sea. It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit. Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town. He...

Taxman cometh

THE TAXMAN COMETH At the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a Synagogue. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, 'I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle...

Dirty Golf

[SIZE="2"][SIZE="4"] 10. Nuts...my shaft is bent. 9. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. 7. Look at the size of his putter. 6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more. 5. Mind if I join your...

A Matter of Life and Death

Henry returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live. Given the prognosis, Henry asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, so they make love. About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his...

Tired Nurse

A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller...

Donald and Daisy

Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?" Donald frowned and said, "No!" Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a...

Poor Guy!

Poor guy A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top...

My joke/humer

I went for an I.Q. test. It came back negative. My ex said she wanted an open relationship. But she dumped me when she found out i had slept with her sister. Usually for me to make a woman laugh all i have to do is drop my pants. I though the...

The Pastor's Ass

The Pastor's Ass The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and It won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind...

Stimulus programs

I will explain it using the Q and A format: Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment? A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money? A. From taxpayers. Q. So the government is giving me...

Spelling Error

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of...

Best Divorce Letter Ever.

Best Divorce Letter Ever > > Dear wife: > > I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. > I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. > > These last 2 weeks have been hell....

Fluctuations

I was at my bank today; there was a short line. Just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, 'Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo...

Computer Trouble

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Richard, the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over. Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called...

kids

Subject: 4-year-old's first job Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 4-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our...

Red Skelton's Recipe for a Happy Marriage

RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE 1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.She goes on Tuesdays. I go on Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds.Hers is in California and mine is...

Dogs and Cats....

WHAT IS A DOG? Dogs lie around all day, sprawled out on the couch or recliner They can hear food being opened half a block away, but don't hear you when you're in the same room They can look dumb and lovable at the ame time They growl when they are not...

Getting Old

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. 'Is it true,' she wanted to know, 'that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life? ' 'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her . There was a moment of silence before...

Check The Bird

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?' The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.' 'Holy...