She Said It!

[LIST=1] [*]- I am right. This argument is over. You need to shut up. [*] - One of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think hard and long before deciding when and how you'll pay for your mistake....

Have you ever been THIS drunk?

I laughed until I cried, and I vaguely recall being close to that drunk once.... Kind of a long video, but worth the watch. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSs7DfhkptI

health care

THE NEW HEALTH COVERAGE IN A NUTSHELL: The phone rings and the lady of the house answers. "Hello?" "Mrs. Sanders, please." "Speaking." "Mrs. Sanders, this is Dr. Jones at St.. Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last...

The Half-wit

A man owned a small ranch near San Antonio . The Texas Dept of Labor claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent. "Well,"...

Just Funny

A lot of fun things, video, pictures, jokes news. www.smilez360.com/

Granny got the Balls

[COLOR="DarkOliveGreen"]One day, an old lady went to the Bank of Canada with a large bag full of money. The old lady insisted to speak to the president of the Bank in order to open a savings account because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many...

Condom Slogans

[B][COLOR="Blue"] 1) Cover your stump before you hump 2) Before you attack her, wrap your whacker 3) Don't be silly, protect your Willie 4) When in doubt shroud you spout 5) Don't be a loner, cover your boner 6) You can't go wrong, if you shield your...

How To Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom and dont disquise your voice. 3. Everytime someone asks you to do something, ask if they want...

The Tool Guide - most common tools explained

This is quite possibly the most hilarious list of definitions, while simultaneously being the MOST ACCURATE! (those of you that use them often will agree, I'm sure) Enjoy! DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar...

Jokes that Flopped

[COLOR="DarkGreen"]I'm always laughing my a** off with the jokes posted here... but at some point, we all have had those jokes that never worked...and should never be used on kids...:( Mostly was just really corny... let me share mine... How many sides...

Older Women

*60 Minutes Correspondent Andy Rooney (CBS) on women over 50 **As I grow in age, I value women over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 50 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She...

Do old people still get horny?

My partner works in a care home and she told me how one of the residents a lady of 78 years of age called Mary was suffering from a pain in her nether regions. This can be quite common due to infections etc.. So my partner told how she had to examine...

school days

Have You Ever Been Guilty Of Looking At Others Your Own Age And Thinking, Surely I Can't Look That Old. Well.... You'll Love This One. My Name Is Alice Smith And I Was Sitting In The Waiting Room For My First Appointment With A New Dentist. I Noticed...

My Neighbour just took a dump in my fish pond!

I can not BELIEVE what I just saw and I am still in shock. My next door neighbour Fred, I have just watched him from an upstairs window climb over my fence walk over to my fish pond, drop his pants and took a DUMP!. I just stood there in shock at what...

Didja hear....

Didja hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night just to ponder on whether or not there really was a Dog.

Geography of a Woman

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful! Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash. Between 31 and 35, a woman is like...

?????The Riddler??????

Simple rules. Solve the riddle and you get to post the next one. Here's the first: A man was to be sentenced, and the judge told him, "You may make a statement. If it is true, I'll sentence you to four years in prison. If it is false, I'll sentence you...

Too Many Beans

A doctor tells a prostitute that she's pregnant and asks "Do you know who the father is?" She replied, "If you ate a can of beans, would you know which one made you fart?" ----------------------------- lol

Beware Of Dog

Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying: DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is THAT...

Psychiatric Hotline

Keep in mind I have many disorders of my own, so I'm in no way trying to make fun of these ones. I actually am somewhat OC myself. This is just funny:D WELCOME TO THE PSYCHIATRIC HOTLINE: If you are Obsessive-Compulsive: Please press 1 repeatedly If...