Yo Mama!

gimme your best 'yo mama' jokes i'll start :) yo mama's so dirty when i asked 'head's or tails' she said 'yeah i do both' yo mama so fat she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

Irish Viagra

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice in reviving her husband's libido. �What about trying Viagra?� asked the doctor. �Not a chance�, she said. �He won't even take an aspirin.� �Not a problem,� replied the doctor. �Give...

How to Really Mellow Out

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr Phil proclaimed, 'The way to achieve inner peace...

What word starts with F and ends in K?

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. For weeks the teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem ?' Every time Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than...

Getting It In On Time

Once upon a time a 9-year-old Southern Baptist boy invited his non-church-going neighbor to attend the Sunday church service with him. And from nearly the moment they walked through the doors it was a non-stop question/answer session. The boys picked...

The Jewelry Store

A lady walks into Tiffany's. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her...

The Haircut

A Guy Stuck His Head Into A Barber Shop And Asked, "how Long Before I Can Get A Haircut?" The Barber Looked Around The Shop Full Of Customers And Said, "about Two Hours." The Guy Left. A Few Days Later The Same Guy Stuck His Head In The Door And Asked,...

A Cat's Letter To God

Dear God, Pease help me to remember the following: 1) To hide under the bed when I hear little kids coming 2) Not to jump on the piano keys 3) That I shouldn't jump on the table and taste the people food 4) That curtains are not for climbing 5) That...

A Dog's Letter To God

TO: GOD FROM: THE DOG Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed? Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the...

Snotty Receptionist!

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman...