Three elderly men!

Three old timers were relating their most exciting experiences. The first, a retired sheriff, described the terrifying excitement of a shoot-out with Bonnie and Clyde back in his younger days. The other gents nodded and agreed that, indeed, would have...

Lovemaking Tips for Seniors

[SIZE="5"]Lovemaking tips for Seniors 1. Wear your glasses. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed. 2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.. 3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!) 4. Make sure you put 911 on...

Wrong E-mail address!

A Wisconsin couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where They spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their...

Charlie the Unicorn

with a political spin? http://wildammo.com/2009/07/27/unusual-paintings-of-obama-naked-with-unicorns/ There he is in the center.

Guts Or Balls?

We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below: GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your...

Love Story

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him....

What if everyone were pink?

That's right! What if all humans had skin the color of pink flamingo feathers? Huh? What would society be like then? Would we flock together or wage war on one another? Would we still have cultural divisions as we do now? Or would our minds paint the...

Clean Jokes For Mixed Company

little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class.. As she ran she prayed, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!' While she was running and...

Wild Mushrooms

A group of country friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church wanted to get together on a regular basis to socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal. When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts, Janet wanted to...

The Bar Jar

BAR JAR A fellow walks into a bar, Notices a very large jar on the counter, And sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be More than ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, 'What's with the...

Irish Jokes

Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight. The operator asks "How many people are flying with you?" Paddy replies "I don't know! It's your plane!!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two Irish couples decided to...

Wanted!

Name : Kim jung il Features : 5 Feet tall, Permad his thin hair Characteristic : Tends to waddle around, Recently suffered from facial palsy Crime committed : Destablizing world peace, Mass Murder and Violation of human rights, Counterfeiting,...

Truth in Personal adds

I am following this guy's adventures on another board. He posted the following on Craigs list. " Let me start this off by saying that I�m not looking for my soul mate or the �one�, because that s*** doesn�t exist. The whole �pure truth� and �blinding...

The Christmas Gift

A Young man wanted to buy a special Christmas gift for his girlfriend.As they had not been dating long, he decided on a pair of gloves - Romantic, but not too personal. But what size? He called the girlfriend's sister who met him at the department...

Hee Hee

The fishing trip Dave and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing trip. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Dave headed home...

Differences between Men and Women

[COLOR="Navy"][B][I]1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. 2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 3. A...

Hollywood Squares!!!

FOR THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER ............. Hollywood Squares These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the...

Joseph!

For his birthday, little Joseph asked for a 18-speed bicycle. His father said, 'Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.' The next day the father saw little...

Brains

This is too funny....I think I got this from H20gal....