Statistically Correct

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window...

Duck Hunting

Johnny went hunting one day in Ontario and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn't like smart kids. The game warden ordered Johnny to show his...

Musician humor

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? ~. How do you know there's a drummer at the door? ~. How many soundmen does it take to change a lightbulb? ~ ...And my favorite... What's the difference between God and a lead singer? ~ :D ~L

child support payments

Whoa! Hold up thar ole timer" I cautioned, "Y'all humping an' a gruntin' like a hog in heat. What's lit your fuse?" Well he huffed an' puffed and gradually changed from a deep purple rage to a warm pink upset..... an he said..... " Today be my baby...

cookie theif

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][B][SIZE="4"]a granny looks after her three grandchildren every weekend, two girls and a boy, all teenagers. Every week she bakes cookies, and every week someone steals them while they are cooling on the tray. Eventually she grows...

Retired

Enjoying a great vacation, but read this one and got a decent laugh...... BEING RETIRED** Working people frequently ask retired people what we do to make our days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown to go to the News Stand for...

Dear dad letter!

A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad..' With the worst premonition, he opened the...

A Trip to the Doctor

An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.... The receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?' 'There ' s something wrong with my dick,' he replied. The receptionist became irritated and...

Hillbilly Ten Commandments

The Hillbilly's Ten Commandments (posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Gainesboro, TN) (1) Just one God (2) Put nothin' before God (3) Watch yer mouth (4) Git yourself to Sunday meetin' (5) Honor yer Ma & Pa (6) No killin' (7) No foolin'...

An e-mail from God

AN EMAIL FROM GOD >One day God was looking down at earth and saw all of the rascally behaviour >that was going on. So he called one of his angels and sent the angel to >earth for a time.When he returned, he told God, 'Yes, it is bad on Earth;...

The Raffle

Young Chuck, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died." Chuck replied, "Well, then,just...

Hey.... Obey The "speed - Limit" Sign

Sitting alongside the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering-along at ONLY 22 MPH !!! He thinks to himself, "this driver is just as dangerous as a SPEEDER !!!" So.... he turns-on his lights and proceeds...

It's a Scam

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping for hardware supplies. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends. Here's how...

Me

:pI'm Funny But Weard.

cowboy boots

Cowboy Boots An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas .. Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife,...

Chile

I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'You're definitely going to shit yourself' chili. Tasty...