You may be a Redneck....

:D A Redneck passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow... but she can't touch it 'til she's 14 How do you know when you're staying in a Redneck motel? When you call the front desk and say, I gotta leak in my sink, and the clerk...

MJ Jokes

Heard these at work.............. MacDonalds have made a burger in commemoration of Michael Jackson. Its 50 year old meat between 7 year old buns......... Farrah Fawcet died and went to heaven where God told her she could have one last wish. Farrah...

Who's your daddy?

The following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing 'father's details;' or putting it another way.... Who's yo Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms! 1. Regarding the...

Day off

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "We're doing some heavy house cleaning at home tomorrow and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith" the boss...

How to tell the sex of a fly

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter "What are you doing?" She asked. "Hunting Flies" He responded. "Oh! Killing any?" She asked. "Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked. "How can...

Pastoral Faux Pas

The newly appointed priest was being briefed by the housekeeper on problems in the rectory that required immediate attention. "Your roof needs repair, Father," she said. "Your water pressure is bad and your furnace is not working." "Now, Mrs. Kelly,"...

Gotta Pee!!!

GOTTA PEE!!! Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the...

the perfect day

the perfect day The Perfect Day - Her 8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses 9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale 9:30 Light Breakfast 11:00 Sunbathe 12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe 1:45 Shopping 2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and notice she's...

birds and bees

Birds and Bees A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. �Mother, where do babies come from?� The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, �Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night...

matrix ping pong

you gotta get a kick outta this one http://www.toonjokes.com/pictureid-250.htm

Funny Fire Breathing!

[FONT="Trebuchet MS"]Came across this funny video today and thought I would post for others that are interested� It�s just weird and funny. http://www.stupidvideos.com/video/just_plain_stupid/Fire_Breathing_Man_Catches_on_Fire/[/FONT]

Quotes by W.C. Fields

"On the whole, I'd rather be in Philadelphia", when asked what he would like his epitaph to read. "I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally" In reference to Charlie Chaplin: "The son of a bitch is a ballet dancer. He's the best ballet dancer...

If you live in B.C

And ..... If you live in B.C ........(like I do) 1. You know the provincial flower is actually Mildew. 2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash. 3. You use the statement "sunny break" and know what it means. 4. You know more than...

Prospective teacher?

After being interviewed by the school administration, the prospective teacher said: 'Let me see if I've got this right.' 'You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor...

Dear Abby!!!

DEAR ABBY ADMITTED SHE WAS AT A LOSS TO ANSWER THE FOLLOWING: Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together,...