Best Joke You've Heard Recently

Give it to me.. Heres mine I thought was good for a chuckle. A boy comes up to his dad and tells him in class today they went over the difference between realistcally and Theorectialy. (if I spelt that right) He said he still didnt understand the...

diary of a viagra housewife

Subject: Diary of a Viagra Housewife Day 1 Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried. Day 2 Today, he says he has a big secret...

Favorite Jokes

I figured this could be a lot of fun if we all tried to list some of our favourite jokes. Here goes one of mine. Three men are drinking outside a penthouse apartment. One looks to another and says "Ya know, there's a breeze that comes up the side of...

Joke of the Day Forum

:) :) :) :) Ordering Pizza in the Year 2010 Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..." Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order." Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?" Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's...

Irish Humor

Pat and Mick landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before morning tea Pat elled: "Mick! I lost me finger!" "Have you now?" says Mick. "And how did you do it?" "I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi... Darn! There goes another one!"...

Rotten joke

Not sure if its too dirty but I'll tell it anyways. One night a little boy woke up to strange sounds coming from the hall. He gets up and walks to his parents room to see the door wide open and his dad giving it to his mom on the dresser. The kid...

A touching poem

>A fart it is a pleasant thing, > >It gives the belly ease, > >It warms the bed in winter, > >And suffocates the fleas. > > > >A fart can be quiet, > >A fart can be loud, > >Some leave a powerful, >...

A Deadly Fruit

One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of indians attaked them and knocked them out. When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne. The chief then said "All of your lives may be...

The Bible as explained by kids

If this doesn't tickle your funny bone...nothing will! It is truly priceless! JKML The 12 Opossums The Bible as explained by kids - truth has been redefined! One of our favorite jobs has been leading junior church. We try to do more than baby-sit our...

Best Blonde joke??

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started.' Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?' The blonde says, 'According to the...

Obama

A teacher in Elmira, New York asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans. > > Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the > teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny. >...

Chili

I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'You're definitely going to shit yourself' chili. Tasty...

Smart mouthed answers.....

SMART ASS ANSWER #6 -- It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?' John asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied. SMART ASS ANSWER #5 -- A flight attendant...

Who? Who? Who?! No Really...who was it?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, :confused: [COLOR="DimGray"]______________________________________________________________ Could mushrooms be intergalactic spaceships spying on us?[/COLOR]

Correct way to come home drunk

Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, 'You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the...

pfizer

Pfizer Announcement Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff...

Kids say the darnest things

In a preschool, the kids were eating breakfast one morning and discussing where they were born. One little boy said I was born at Sacred Heart......a little girl sitting next to him, said "I was born at Sacred Heart too". The little boy turned to her,...