God, I need a parking spot. NOW!

A young man was on his way to an extremely important meeting and was going to be late if he didn't find a parking spot within seconds. As he's driving along, he says outloud "God, I need a parking spot right NOW. I promise I'll do anything if you can...

Jesus and Mo.

Pretty sure it fits here, it is funny afterall.... but might be better off in atheism? Don't know. If it needs to be moved I suppose it will be. http://www.jesusandmo.net/2005/11/24/body/ I guess you either you love it or you hate it. Gave me a few...

The economy is so bad...

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. I ordered a burger at McDonald�s and the kid behind the counter asked, �Can you afford fries with that?� CEOs are now playing miniature golf. If the bank returns your check marked �Insufficient Funds,� you...

What people say

I find humorous when we are having significant weather changes and I speak to people and they always say...." They are calling for...." be it snow, heat, rain what so ever. I often wonder who is "they"? Who is calling for such awful weather? Where do I...

Funny laws

Do you know any funny laws? I recently bought a book, that is full of this kind of laws from all over the world (over 50% of the book is about American laws though... ;) ). Here are some of my favorites: Texas: Criminals have to inform their victim...

Terrorists Threats

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not...

Painting the Porch

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint...

priorities

After 35 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small...

Media Bias

A Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Washington, DC > > when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. > > Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of...

smokin' in the rain

Two old ladies, Maude and Beulah, stepped out back to have a smoke, when it started to rain. Maude reached in her pocket, pulled out a condom, and slipped it over her cigarette. Beulah looked at her, astonished. "What's that thing?" Maude answered:...

Student Nurse

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure . A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. Nurse,' he mumbles,...

Catholic Sunday Morning Smile

Every Sunday our church passes out weekly bulleting and every week there is something new and humerus in the Sunday Morning Smile section. I thought I might post this weeks for those of you who question faith. Its not as bad as many make it out to be....

Al Qaida Gets Cable TV?

All repeats tho. Allah in the Family Mary Terror Moore Habib Newhart Andahar Griffith Omar Pyle The Beverly Hezbollahs My Three Sunnis Lets Mecca Deal

alaska state troopers

Alaskan State Troopers story The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers. "We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one...

Tequilla, Dog & 90 Year Old

A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's with the money in the...

Old Friends

The 10 Year Reunion A group of 40 year-old buddies discuss and discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at Gasthaus Gutenberger restaurant because the waitress's there have low cut blouses and nice...