DR Contortrix Goes to Dinner

After a long night of metaphor mixing and syllable stirring in graduated cylinders of grammar, I took brunch with the love of my life. I mean the other one, not word science, the human.        Zipping down the old gravel road in the Paradox Mobile,...

One liners to make you think

100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?  42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.  A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory .  A clean desk is a sign of a...

Tips for good writing

Here are some writing tips I have found on the internet. 1. Always avoid alliteration. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.) 4. Employ the vernacular 5. Eschew...

Smart A** Cop

Smart-Ass Cop Two guys are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick....

Just Ask Sooz

Dear Sooz: I hate to even write this to you, but my husband has just fractured my last nerve. We have been married for 23 years, and for some unknown reason, I have to repeat things over and over to him. When we were dating, he was very...