My Ex

It's sad, really, when loving couples slowly drift apart due to subtle cultural differences. She said "tomahto", I said "tomayto". She said "potayto", I said "get out of my life, bitch".

A Portrait of Picasso as a Young Man

Mary got my little goat.   A bird in the hand is worth a pound of cure.   Never put off until tomorrow never comes.   Judge not, lest ye be all that ye can be.   Never bite off more than meets the eye.   If life gives you...

Don't make me do it.

  I saw a cute sign yesterday that I immediately identified with. Just thought I would share it with you. I am paraphrasing here, but it went something like this:       Me?   Crazy?   Why, I ought to climb down   off...

Feeling Suicidal?

Razors pain you Rivers are damp Acids stain you Drugs cause cramp.   Guns aren't lawful Nooses give Gas smells awful You might as well live.   author unknown  

Optimistic Drool

  Optimistic Drool       be content with little victories   appreciate them and know   that for each second of happiness felt   disappointment awaits tenfold  

Sugar Honey Ice Tea

My favorite subject in school is hands down creative writing. We do a game where we write down a subject on a piece of paper, fold it and put it in a cup, then pass the tin around so everyone gets a random subject. I got sugar honey ice tea. And...

A few mangled aphorisms

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.   Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.   On the other hand, you have different fingers.   Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.  ...

Holy Shit! I'm OLD!

Stayed up until midnight last night.  Watched what used to be Dick Clark's annual show.  Didn't recognize a single entertainer except Tony Bennet and Elton John.  Then, I heard me and my beloved exclaiming, "This isn't music", "Kids these days don't...

Criminal Tip #2468013579

If you are considering a career as a shoplifter, perhaps it might be smart to determine if the store is having an charitable event which would increase the security or not.  It is seriously a case of bad timing to make your attempt during a "Shop with...

New Year & Stale Beer

As 2015 approaches, many people including myself, tend to look back at the year asking ourselves important questions like "Did I achieve every goal I wanted to"? "Did I make my time count"? Was that cute girl at Urban Outfitters actually hitting on me...

Thankful For Small Things

Picture this:  You are standing on the sidewalk minding your own business, possibly gazing longingly into a window at a cashmere scarf that would go fabuously with your magnificent camel hair coat.  Suddenly, from around the corner you see a Leprechan...

Excluded.

On most days, I love my company - probably more than the average teenager. But to be honest, I'd rather sit in a corner with no friends than sit with a group of people who exclude me. Like seriously, it's not even cool when your whole squad, is out...

Bobb B Soxx and the U-Trou Sued

I was lucky to find life-long friends when I attended college. A love of rock and roll was a bond that started a band even though I could only contribute my ears. We continue to get together as we will this summer in Grayling Michigan. Following is a...

The Other Sue's Quotes (35)

I knew I was missing something in setting my goals! Now I know what it was! "I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."   Lily Tomlin